Looking for Mr. Goodfrog by Laurie Graff

Author:Laurie Graff
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: MIRA
Published: 2012-11-22T05:00:00+00:00

Eleven

A female frog finds her mate by answering a frog’s mating call.

My aunt Cookie and uncle Sy became engaged three weeks after they met. They married three months after that. They started a life together in the same time frame mine often felt like it just ended. I never understood why three months was significant in the dating arena. But it seemed when it hit that time, it was often the tendency for the man you were dating to vanish like a cloud.

Blessed with a window seat, I stared out at the sky. The plane plowed through clouds that were bold and beautiful before they disappeared, and I calculated that my last date with Edward was practically three months to the day we had met. It made me think about the lecture I attended last week for single women in Manhattan to find out what they were doing that drove the men away.

“What happens at three months, ladies?” the female speaker asked from the podium, intending to teach women to take responsibility for their lives without betting on the prince.

I thought it safe to say I’d never bet on the prince. I couldn’t because I didn’t believe in him. Besides, he wasn’t all that interesting. Even in fairy tales, with his chiseled perfect looks he was without personality or humor. But the frog was funny. The comic relief, quirky and cute. The frog wasn’t all bad; he just had to be good for you.

“Is three months the first time he doesn’t bring you flowers, and instead of letting it go you get in a huff? Is that the first time he wants to kick back and says he’ll wait till the weekend to see you, and instead of being easygoing you demand he see you before?”

I wanted to be a woman torn up over no tulips and dateless Tuesdays. To me, the inability to plan another social engagement for an undetermined amount of time did not say kick back, it said back off.

“Is the familiar disappointment of men what you are in love with the most? Do you keep choosing the wrong men so you don’t have to end up with them, ladies?”

It was easy to blame both the frogs and the frogettes! But there was something else. Something she wasn’t addressing. There was no reason to jump from lily pad to lily pad that fast if you had made a substantial connection. She was making the assumption a relationship started because both people really wanted to be in one, and I didn’t believe that was necessarily true.

“At three months you still need to have your own life. You need to have your own plans. You always do.”

I agreed with her there. Okay. So you bought and decorated your apartment, you took that solo vacation. You threw yourself a birthday party and would see a Saturday night movie alone. What then?

“Learn to have a man be just one part of your life. You have a full life. Live your life and he’ll pursue you.

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